By Pastor Blessed Mugabiri
A marriage is a great institution which was started by God. There are ways this institution must be run. There founder of the business is the one who put policies to be followed. Marriage is God’s plan so we are to follow his ways.
The plan of God is in the bible. God gave us the roles in marriage. The husband has his roles and the wife her own too. God’s design for the family is that: Wives submit to their husbands. Husbands love their wives and not be harsh to them.
Children obey their parents in everything. Parents not embitter their children. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
Colossians 3:18-21, “The husband must love the wife as Christ love the church“. According to 1 Corinthians 13:1, “we are taught what is love (Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things) 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
As the hubby will be loving his family he will be providing the family. Providing resources, such as money, food, clothing, and shelter, for all family members is one of the most basic, yet important, roles within a family. This is primarily an instrumental role. Love is not love until you give it away.
Nurturing and supporting other family members is primarily an affective role and includes providing comfort, warmth, and reassurance for family members. Examples of this role are a parent comforting a child after he/she has a bad day at school, or family members supporting one another after the death of a loved one.
The life skills development role includes the physical emotional, educational, and social development of children and adults. Examples of this role are a parent helping a child make it through school, or a parent helping a young adult child decide on a career path. This is done well by mothers but it is a responsibility for fathers.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 22:6. Most of husband they blame the wives on their failure to train children. Whenever you see children misbehaving blame the father. Spare a rod and spoil the child.
Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. Proverbs 23:13 ; 13:24. ‘Vana vanodawo kupota vachirohwa‘. Politicians they say no to this because they want votes but apply this to your children.
The husband is the head of the family. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 5:23. This role involves many tasks, including leadership, decision making, handling family finances, and maintaining appropriate roles with respect to extended family, friends and neighbors. Other responsibilities of this role include maintaining discipline and enforcing behavioral standards.
The husband as the priest of the family because they are on Christ’s position. The function of the priest was to sacrifice on behalf of Israel and enter into the holy of holies on their behalf. Adam is the one who was receiving information from God and pass it to Eve. Some men can send their wives to church and remain behind. This is not good because God want to give you the message to run your marriage but you are nowhere to be seen.
The wife must submit to the husband. Submission in marriage is a wife making choice not to overtly resist her husband’s will. That is not to say she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her opinion. The wife is a helper. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18. If she agrees in everything she will not be a good helper. After a disagreement a decision must be made. The husband must be left to make a decision. His decision might be wrong but it must be made. If the decision is wrong, there is no need to blame him but to advise him to make another one.
Do not compare your partner with the person next door. Thus undermining his authority. He might not be providing the same way as theneighbour but that does not make a less husband. Do not argue with your partner in the midst of people.
It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9. Most women rules in several houses. It is only the stupid ones who want it to be known by the whole world.
A satisfying sexual relationship is one of the keys to a quality marital relationship. This role involves meeting sexual needs in a manner that is satisfying to both spouses. Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Corinthians 7:1-4. Women mostly deprive men of their conjugal rights. This is not the mind of God. Most of the infidelity relationships that we have are emanating from this point. The way a man is wired is that he must always have.
If you do not know in our African culture a woman must ask the permission from the husband to leave the bedroom.