Pain of Being a Woman 

Gender issues are confronting mankind around the world, an evil that need to be tackled as urgently as possible but many societies are ignoring it and rather promote gender imbalances. Gender refers to male and female differences that are not biological but are based on social or cultural factors. However, the community l grew up in interpreted gender differently.

After my mother gave birth to me, our family elders and all the villagers of Gozi village in Mutoko came with their congratulations but when they heard about my sex none of them laid an eye on me. My father never saw future in eyes rather a disgrace .He even thought of throwing me in a dam .He never bothered to take care of me and my mother rather treated my mother in an abusive manner and death threats which he has been practicing during my mother’s pregnancy period.

The whole society was against me to an extent of demonstrating for my death. Every morning my mother would hide me in a chicken fowl to protect me from the community. She faced all the consequences alone, whereby the village elders would verbally and physically abuse her just because she gave birth to a girl.

After two years l continued to live that kind of life, being in a hell with no one to notice your tears or hear your cry. My mother was undermined and disrespected both by the society and the family .My father married another wife and she gave birth to a baby boy named Malvin.

A bull was killed as a way of celebrating the birth of a prince .My mother was invited to the gathering but only to be humiliated and harassed in front of the whole village for being weak, for bringing shame to the family just because she gave birth to a girl.

Years passed, and l was eight years old by then. l was now at an age of going to school so was Malvin. My father had no money for my mother and l, we had to feed and support ourselves. Unlike Malvin who had everything he wanted, he was a boy and he was believed to be stronger and intelligent than me which demotivated me, l even lost my esteem.

My mother was not allowed to do anything but household chores only therefore she couldn’t afford sending me to school. Our society could not allow a woman to own land or do any other jobs outside the homestead.

School vacancies were open and free to boys only and for girls you had to pay a lot of money and this gave Malvin every right to go to school. The boys were believed to be more brilliant than girls, they were said to be bold, brave and hardworking.

Malvin’s mother was honoured for giving birth to a son. She had all the respect and care from my father. He supported her financially and emotionally. Whereas my mother and l had nothing to depend on but facing death threats every night. We did all the household chores alone, we never never had peace or sense of belonging.

It really pained me to understand that my mother had no freedom, she was abused, undermined just because she gave birth to a girl child. A girl child who was believed by the whole society to be weak, dull and not capable of thinking or bringing any development to the family, she faced numerous of being known. No one could see your tears or hear your cry and by that you are assumed to be comfortable.