Stay or Leave? It’s Your Call 

Do people get marriage for traditional reasons, culture, religion or fashion? Young people see happily married relatives or neighbours and envy their lifestyles.

Certainly different cultures and religions promote marriage. The bible even states that two people shall become one in marriage (Mark 10: 8), and that surely gives value to marriage.

However, if we look in the bible, there is nowhere the bible quotes a husband beating his wife or failing to provide for their families because they had a small house. Similarly, women in the bible submitted and respected their husbands as the bible says in Ephesians 5:22-33.

So, what has gone in today’s marriages? Why are divorce rates on the rise?

Some people argue that people divorce mainly because they would not compatible to each other. But then, how would people know whether they are compatible or not before they start living together as there is a shona saying ‘rinonyenga rinohwarara’. Anyway this used to apply to men only as they would suppress their true selves until they are married, however women have joined the game of faking and they seem to be good at it. To win someone’s heart one can go to great lengths and would be willing to walk the extra mile, but this would change as soon as they feel comfortable in marriage.

This is certainly one of the reasons why people divorce. It’s like seeing appetizing food being advertised on the television only to find out that what is shown on TV and the real thing are completely two different things. When advertising they make it seem like it’s a very big tasty burger but when you taste it you then understand that not all that glitters is gold.

I am not here to accuse one gender as the main cause of divorce but want to share something totally different. Matthew 22: 36-40 Jesus says that the biggest commandment is love the Lord and love your neighbour as you love yourself. This is why marriages are failing because people don’t love others as they love themselves because if they did they would not bring pain upon their partners. If you don’t want someone to break your heart why break theirs. If you don’t tolerate someone cheating on you so why do you cheat on them.

Marriage is meant to bring happiness. If one is not happy in their marriage should they stay? Should one soldier no matter the hardships because they want their children to grow up with both parents living together. Or stay because divorce brings shame to their families?

No reason is worth one sacrificing their happiness and health for. Yes health as well. People end up taking BP tablets because their partner gives them hell on daily basis.

As much as marriage is sacred union, one’s happiness and health over shadows all. How does it help you to stay in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life? We won’t be on this earth forever so make your life meaningful and most importantly be happy.

The marriage formula is very simple

Happy Marriage = Stay

Unhappy marriage = leave

If you are not happy do not wait around hoping that your partner will miraculously change one day because they won’t and before you know it you will be way too old to leave resulting in you dying a miserable death.

One thing I don’t understand is why it is okay for you to abuse someone else’s brother or sister in the name of marriage but cry foul when the same is done to your brother, sister or child. Remember what goes around, comes around.

I know not everyone will agree with me on this but I stick to my point. If you are not happy in your marriage then please leave. After all they are plenty of fish in the sea.